Can you ask for a gift the first time you meet a donor? Yes, you can – often!

In fundraising, as in life, we’ve got our ideal and we’ve got our reality. The ideal is we get to know a donor over time and, when the relationship feels strong, ask for a gift. The reality is most of our donors want less of our time than we want of theirs. The reality is many donors will contribute significant gifts without getting to know us well. The reality is many donors are far away and we can’t visit them often.

Most face-to-face asking is for annual funds – what we need to run our organizations day in and day out. They can be general operating funds or project-specific, but they’re for the current year.

While it’s nice to think we can maximize every one of those gifts, the goal in annual giving is to establish an annuity of giving over many years. That means the ultimate level of today’s gift is far less important than the overall relationship. Each of those gifts builds the relationship.

So let’s take maximizing a gift out of the equation and focus on maximizing the relationship. In that context, asking on the first date is less daunting. Does that sound counter-intuitive?! It’s all in how you go about it.

If you presume your donor is ready to meet with you and/or make a gift, you risk making the relationship transactional. However, if you put the decision to meet in your donor’s hands, you allow the donor to feel heard. That alone builds the relationship and makes it more likely your donor will be willing to meet. Here are four scenarios and how I approach them:

1. A Donor Who Has Given But Has Never Met Anyone

In this situation there needs to be a reason the first meeting would involve an ask. It might be distance – the first and only time you’ll be in the donor’s neck of the woods. Or the donor has declined meetings before so this is just another attempt. Or it’s the anniversary of the donor’s last gift.

In each case you have to acknowledge that you’ve never met and the donor might want to get to know you first. So ask! “Would you be comfortable meeting with me to discuss your continued support of our organization? Or would you prefer to get to know me better and have me come back at a later date?”

2. A Donor Who Has Given and Met Others But Hasn’t Met You

This is easier. “I’m calling to continue building the relationship you have with our organization that you started with Gloria Rose. As you know, Gloria has gotten a great job at so-and-so organization, and now I’m responsible for our relationship with you. It happens to be the anniversary of your last gift. Would you be comfortable meeting with me to discuss your continued support of our organization? Or would you prefer to get to know me better and have me come back at a later date?”

3. A Prospect Who Has a History

In this case the person has gotten to know the organization through others – perhaps through friends who are involved, through volunteering, or by being a program user. Here the relationship with the organization is there and you should feel comfortable reaching out based on that.

Let’s assume the prospect is a volunteer: “Thank you for being such an amazing volunteer. Your contribution of time has been invaluable to our senior program and helped us provide seniors the social supports that help them live better lives. Would you consider meeting with me to talk about supporting the organization financially as well? Given your investment in the organization to date, I thought you might be interested in helping the seniors further by becoming a donor.”

4. Prospects Who Have Never Given and Have No History

This is the toughest, and I find it only works in a few instances. Sometimes there’s someone with a stake in your community or sector who is known to fund broadly. Often in this situation asking on the first visit only works with someone who takes a business-like approach to charitable giving AND makes clear that one meeting is all you’ll get.

Over the years I’ve dealt with busy philanthropists who are willing to add a cause to their roster if it’s aligned with their vision, but don’t want to take the time to build a deeper relationship. In that case, it’s really up to the prospect to propose an all-in-one date – you risk being presumptuous if you do.

Bottom line, in every case I just tell it like it is. Why are we often so reticent to simply state the obvious and tell the truth? Whenever anyone asks for advice, I always tell them to share exactly what they shared with me – the truth. Just put it out there. You’ll be amazed how far it can get you.

How to Learn More

To watch more free fundraising videos and download handy materials, sign up for your Free Library. You’ll get a number of 5 to 8-minute videos on the Asking Styles, the Role of the Asker, and more, as well as my sample prospect tracker, an Anxiety/Excitement Worksheet, and my two most popular Top Ten lists!