We introverts don’t like events. Too many people. Too many conversations crisscrossing each other. The schmoozing takes too much energy! We’d rather be anywhere else.
Yet the reality for fundraisers is events come with the territory and we can’t avoid them. Chances are our organization has at least one “big” fundraising event a year – a gala (cringe!) or something with food, entertainment, an auction, etc. We might have walkathons, lectures, cocktail parties, and so on.
Given the reality, how do we make it work for us? Here are some tips based on 30 years of dealing with events:
How to Prepare
It’s important to have a game plan. Unlike the extrovert who sweeps into an event and finds his or her way easily, the introvert needs to have a sense of how things might unfold in advance.
Think through whom you are likely to see there. What might you discuss with them? Do you have some talking points in mind? Can you even arrive together with someone?
Then consider timing. How long do you need to be there? Can you leave a bit early? To leave early will you need an excuse and, if so, what is it? And here’s a thought: if you’re working the event, perhaps you can trade off actual event time for set-up and clean-up time. Most people don’t enjoy that and the event organizers might be happy to make that deal with you!
It’s important to have a game plan. Unlike the extrovert who sweeps into an event and finds his or her way easily, the introvert needs to have a sense of how things might unfold in advance.
When to Arrive
Be strategic about this. I always arrive early as I find it easier to meet people as they arrive than to walk into a crowded room. And if there are just a few people there, they’re sure to talk to me as there’s no one else for them to talk to – and they might even come up to me which spares me the anxiety of going up to them.
Arriving early also allows me to acclimate. I get a lay of the land. I search for comfortable spots to position myself, usually near a wall or otherwise out of the fray. I get something to drink as a glass can be my security blanket.
Yet what works for one introvert (a shy one at that) doesn’t work for everyone. I’ve got an introverted friend who never arrives early as she finds it awkward if she doesn’t know anyone and needs to talk to strangers. By arriving later there’s a better chance she’ll know someone and can join a conversation. And she finds she’s less likely to attract attention in a crowded room.
What Size Group to Engage
What makes you comfortable? I’m a one-on-one guy. I rarely socialize in groups and find it overwhelming if I’m in a conversation with more than three other people. I am at my best when I engage one person in deeper conversation, so I always try to find that one person I can talk to all night. And I’m happier once I’m seated at a table as I don’t have to worry about who to talk to any longer – it’s mostly the people on either side of me.
I am at my best when I engage one person in deeper conversation, so I always try to find that one person I can talk to all night.
Having said that, for some introverts it’s easier to be lost in a crowd. In a big group no one might notice if you’re not talking, and the conversation isn’t as dependent on you. Further, you can check out everyone in the conversation and figure out who you might be most interested in talking to one-on-one without the small talk first.
Whether you arrive early or late, find one person or dive into a crowd, the bottom line is not to leave anything to chance. Think it through and be strategic to help get yourself through your events. And then reward yourself afterward for bravely marching into battle!
