It’s 1993. I was doing my best to court a donor for my alma mater, Brandeis University, where I headed up fundraising in the Midwest.
This donor had had no involvement in the 30+ years since she graduated. She only attended the school for one year, and that was when she was in her later 20s, married and with kids. She dropped out of another school to marry her college sweetheart with a year to go, and landed at Brandeis because the school was willing to take all her credits and only have her attend for the year to graduate. The other school wasn’t!
In 1993 she was on my radar due to her capacity as the head of her very successful privately-owned company.
So, I reached out to ask if the current president could visit when he was in Chicago. She agreed, but not before telling me she was very busy, very committed to other charities, and didn’t have a strong allegiance to the school because she had only gone for one year, lived off campus, already had children, etc.
That visit went well, and months later we asked her to be the honorary chair for an event. She told me the same story of being busy and otherwise engaged and not very interested but agreed to the assignment. She was a wonderful emcee and the dinner with the president and local leaders went well!
Fast forward again to 1995, when our next president was visiting. Again, a visit was arranged but with the same proviso.
After that visit, the University asked her to consider a 6-figure scholarship endowment in memory of her parents. It was my task to follow up…so I did.
The donor gave me her story and asked me to try back in three months. So I did.
She said she was still busy and asked me to call back in three months. So I did.
She was still busy and, yes, asked me to call back.
But I didn’t have to wait three months. One day, my cell phone rang (an original Ameritech “block” that weighed a ton). It was the donor. I was shocked as she had never called me.
She told me her story – that she had only gone for one year, didn’t feel connected, was involved in many other charities, BUT, because I was so POLITELY PERSISTENT, she would make the one-time six-figure gift.
“Politely persistent,” she called me. And, in those interactions, I learned one of my greatest lessons in philanthropy. Don’t hear “no” when the donor isn’t saying “no.” Take what the donor says at face value as very few donors will waste your time. If they’re not saying “go away and never come back. I won’t make any gift for anything at any time,” then the door is open.
This story gave me three decades of confidence to keep at it. To listen closely, respect my donors’ wishes, and keep it at until I get an answer.
Politely persistent. Imagine all the gifts we would have had if we were always politely persistent.
